We have been in cell hell and away from civilization for 2 days. Which also means scary roads. We drove to Zion national park. We all rode the shuttle around the park and mom dad and I hiked. It was beautiful. Mom and I hiked up to some small waterfalls in our sandals and almost broke our necks.

After that we went to Bryce Canyon and it was AWESOME. Who ever decided that the Grand Canyon was the best obviously hadn't seen Bryce yet. The Grand Canyon can suck it. Bryce Canyon has these things that stick up because of erosions and they are called hoodoos, which i love. Also, I decided that whoever created the little mermaid and who ever makes those little castles that go inside fish bowls has obviously been to Bryce because that is EXACTLY what it looks like.



















When we left Bryce Canyon it was about 8 and we were looking for somewhere to stay. Little did we know that mom had taken us on another scenic drive and there was no where to stay for miles except for the chainsaw massacre inn, so we kept going. We went through a HUGE canyon with a tiny road in the middle of the night. Dad almost hit a deer and an elk, and was laughing about it. He needs medicine. We finally found a place in Capital Reef. The guy at the front desk was on cocaine, but he did tell us that Disney just finished shooting a movie there.

Captial Reef was awesome to drive through in the DAYLIGHT. We took awesome pictures. We stopped at a place called Hog's Springs to eat a picnic, fitting. While eating these three hickdog men in bathing suits walked up and were looking for the HOT springs. Apparently they were hickdog and illiterate and dumb because I hadn't seen water for 3 days. We didn't tell them they were idiots, we just let them walk by us and look for the springs.

I made mom change her route so that we could go by the four corners. OOPS. It was on Navajo land and they closed it for construction. I won't even mention the racist comments Raymond was blurting out. I had to remind him that we are all feathers too. We made it to Farmington, NM and found a Casino. ding ding ding ding ding. I love Indian Reservations. Raymond got a JUMBO marg at dinner and probably spent millions at the casino. Mom and I played video poker the whole time, enjoyed being minorities and I spent only a couple dollars. (dad's money of course)

Raymond was about to poop his pants coming back into the hotel so to make matters worse for him I jumped out from around the corner and scared the shit out of him. Literally.

Mom has a terrible case of club foot and she wont quit eating salt. I told her i wasn't going to feel sorry for her anymore today as she was eating sunflower seeds. She walks with a little limp.


I have to get some sleep, mom said she wont bring me breakfast in bed anymore. Albuquerque tomorrow